Aditya Mittal's Journal

horn POWER BRAKES please

2006-05-16T15:34:00.000-07:00

I noticed this message on a truck today on Delhi-Gurgaon highway Chunnu – munnu de papa di gaddi (Translates to: Chunnu and Munnu’s papa’s automobile). The Delhi-Gurgaon highway has painfully slow moving traffic during mornings and late evenings and nearly all trucks in Delhi-Haryana have innovative one-liners and truck-rhymes. This truck-literature proves to be the second best way (after FM) of avoiding boredom in a jam. Interestingly, the trend of one-liners behind trucks is popular nearly everywhere in India (though I am not sure about the east and down south). I remember reading Aayi tujha aasheerwaad (Translates to: Your blessings Mom) on trucks in Mumbai.

Here are a few one-liners and the translations:
Babuji main aayi (Here I come, Mister)
Babuji dheere chalna (Mister, walk slow)
Chhora Jatt da (Son of a Jatt)
Chal Basanti (Walk Basanti)
Dosti Pakki, kharcha apna apna (Strong friendship, bear your own expenses)
Kheton pe kisan, seema par jawan (Farmers on the field, soldiers on the frontier)
Jagah milne par side di jayegi (Side would be given if there is space)
Mera Bharat mahan (My India is great)
Garibon ka rakhwala (Poor man’s guard)

Sometimes the truckwala’s go on to write 2 line rhymes. I am writing a few of them with translations.

Chalti hai gaadi, udti hai dhool,
Jaltey hain dushman, khiltey hain phool
(The automobile moves, dirt flies, enemies envy and flowers bloom)
I have no idea what these lines are supposed to mean.

Amiron ki zindagi biscuit aur cake par
Driver ki zindagi clutch aur brake par
(The rich live on biscuit and cake, the driver lives on clutch and brake)
As shitty as it can get, the only point of the lines are to make them rhyme. Notice that the lines are so efficiently made that even my translation rhymes.

Bahar aati hai, khilte hain phool
Driver ki zindgi, jaise sadak ki dhool
(Springtime comes and flowers blossom, the driver’s life is like dust on the road) WTF!!!

Nadi kinare maina baithi, dana khaye chhalli da,
Tu to raja ban gaya driver, dil na lage akelli da
(The birds sit at the river bank pecking at maize. My king, you have become a driver and my heart feels lonely).

Malik ki gadi, driver ka pasina
Chalti hai road par banke hasina
(The owner’s automobile, the driver’s sweat, moves on the road after becoming a pretty girl)
I am speechless.

Sometime back the RTO (of one of the states) came up with the law that no obscene one-liners and flashy bumper stickers are allowed on trucks, cars etc. since they cause distraction and can result in accidents. This was based on some research by a Delhi University student. His Ph.D. thesis was used as a basis for this new law and a fine of Rs.100 was imposed on those with obscene lines and flashy stickers on their vehicles. Interestingly, lines like “Mera bharat mahan” were allowed since they were not obscene and were introduced by Rajiv Gandhi (basic idea being that only obscene lines distract). I don’t have further details.
Some RTO offices have also encouraged the truck drivers to write socially relevant messages about planting trees, AIDS, population control etc. A rhyme in this category goes like this…
Papa na piyo sharab,
Khareed do mujhe ek kitab
(Father, do not drink, buy me one book)

Finally… no article about truck-rhymes is complete without this most popular one.
In most cases only the second line from this rhyme is written. Here it goes…

18 ke phool, 84 ki mala…
Buri nazar vale tera muh kala
(Flowers of 18, Garland of 84, one with bad intentions, thou face be black)

With this, I close this talk about truck-literature…
OK phir milenge TATA

The Cow Story

2006-04-11T11:32:00.000-07:00

Here’s a short story. Once upon a time, I was in 11th standard. The days and nights were dedicated to JEE. One afternoon, I sat in my room struggling through the DPP* when I felt a slight drizzle. Yes, my room has a reinforced concrete cement ceiling and the “rain” came down through it. There are no explanations and questions. Just keep reading.
I recalled that there is a water tank on the roof. As anybody would have done, I ran up the stairs to the roof. It was NOT raining outside and the tank was there as it had always been. I rushed back to my room and the rain had stopped. The floor was wet. My room has two entrances and I noticed that the other door was a much better way to enter since it was not-so-wet there. It took me 10-15 seconds to reach the other door through two more rooms. When I reached there, I saw a cow standing in the middle of my room. I said no questions or explanations… read on. I gaped at it (the cow). It moved its neck (as cows do, or any other bovine does) and looked at me with sagely serenity on its face (as cows have, or any other bovine has). Then it happened. It turned and jumped out of the window. I heard a loud thud of it landing on the porch (yes, I forgot to tell this is all happening on the first floor). By the time, I ran to the window to look at the cow, it was on the road outside the compound wall. I assume it would have been another leap from the porch to the road. The animal seemed the least concerned and was strolling away happily. Story over.
A few things to note: I reiterate that my room is on the first floor. The ground floor was a hospital which was crowded enough not to allow a cow to walk up to the stairs. The stairs are narrow. I have never heard of cows climbing stairs but even if they do, these stairs are far too narrow for any sane animal of that size to think about climbing them. Another noticeable point is that the cow took barely 15 seconds to reach my room which is a bit too fast for it (that is if it took the normal route). This led me to assume that it came through the window (No questions please! I don’t know how). Interestingly, the window has an iron grill and a mosquito net. The cow passed through it without damaging it. No it was not a very small size cow and neither did it shrink and pass through. It simply passed as if it was a 3-D projected image (But there was the thud on landing). One final word, this is a true story.
Now the point is what the hell? How? Why? (Nande Dattebayo**)? Well, the answer is I don’t know. I simply don’t know. It did happen. I was not day-dreaming. I cleaned up my room (The rain had left it all dirty). I do not expect anybody to believe it. Yes it left me bewildered too. I don’t know how, but had it happened to you what would you have done. Would you have kept it to yourself simply because you were the only one who witnessed it and others would not believe you? I shared with the world and the expected aftermath happened. I was laughed at. The story was made a joke. It is famous among all my peers as “the cow story”. There have been instances when strangers used to ask me, “hey, aren’t you the guy whose room was visited by a cow”. I asked, “Do you even know that my room being visited by a cow is weird or not”. They had no answer.
My friends made different versions of the story. There are versions where grass grew in my room and the cow ate it, it defecated in my room before jumping off the window with a parachute… etc. My friends laugh at it. I don’t care. I also laugh and enjoy when the story is discussed. Yes it is painful to tell it again and again. But I insist that it did happen. I saw it happening.
PS: Comments and questions are welcome.
* Daily practice problems. JEE aspirants at Bansal Classes, Kota have to bear them.
** Nande dattebayo… Nande is Japnese for “why”. Dattebayo is a naruto specific term. Will talk about naruto in some entry in my blog later.

un dos tres...

2006-04-10T11:03:00.000-07:00

This is me :D
... and what your are reading is my blog. I have lost count of my attempts at blogging. This is a fresh one. I will survive this time.